... I like this saying. So shushhhhh shushhhhhh all you growing old pains and annoyances go away. Maybe then I will start liking you ... if not ... ? Ah for gawds sake just keep on staying away, we probably only need to give it some more time.

I said to the nasty dark hair that started growing at the side of my face and slowly crept onto my cheeks, a couple of weeks ago. I even threatened to shave it off, or wax it , bleach it or remove in any possible way.

Well, it didn't listen. it just stayed put.

So I made my threats come true, removed it and calmly explained to it that it was not - under any circumstances - supposed to come back.

You'd think I taught it a lesson. I didn't. It came back. Nasty bastards. Ah well ... the joys of aging. Don't you just love it?

. . . pops up on my screen. The sender is - according to his profile - a 15 year old interested in "party, popping pills, and getting shit-faced"

Oh dear, I think to myself. What on earth made me switch on ICQ after 4 years or so of absence. I should have just ignored this message, but no, I felt obliged to at least say: "Sorry I am busy."

Good Lord, why did I ever? I should have just pulled the plug and make it go away.

"Do U want 2 fuck?" he replies. I am not sure if I should break out in hysterical laughter, ignore it or teach him a lesson. So I just ignore it. Apparently he doesn't like to be ignored. Another message pops up: "I want to "beep" (explicit) your "beep" (explicit) and make you "beep" (explicit) real "beep" (explicit). . . and so forth . . .

Holy shit! I haven't even heard half of the words, and I wonder where this little dimwit has gotten so streetsmart. So I only write back: "Sorry, I don't speak "moron", so why don't you get off my case and look over there where the pasture is greener?"

And then I don't know what else he might have written because I logged off and I think that's it gonna be for the next 4 years again.

Goddess, do I feel old. I don't even think it's funny anymore.